Monday, December 12, 2011

We lived through the birthday party

Last month I decided it would be a good idea to finally throw a birthday party for my kids, who happen to have been born three days before Christmas. Thanks a lot for making it so easy, guys.
Since they've never really had a real party where friends actually showed up, I planned it for an earlier day in December. Yesterday was that day.

Picture this--Richard and me dragging ourselves, the kids, and two EXTRA kids into DC in the 34 degree, blustery weather, finding parking, and getting everyone into the Spy Museum....on time. It wasn't easy, but we managed to make it happen.

The "guests" (all 9 and 10 year old boys) trickled in one at a time and once around those little gems, my boys went insane. There was giggling and screeching and for a moment I thought we might be asked to leave. But alas, we were escorted to the party room.

The young women who clearly pulled the short straw and were assigned to run our party were basically saints. They put up with the boys running in actual circles, talking about farts, and not following directions. It was exhausting to watch. About 15 minutes in I came to the conclusion that only booze could make that experience tolerable.

After a bumpy start and a desperate attempt on the part of the museum employees to explain the "mission" each team was to accomplish, the kids were off into the museum to completely harass every paying visitor in the place. I don't think I've ever apologized to that many strangers in such a short amount of time.

After all the missions were successfully accomplished, it was back to the party room for a debriefing, goodie bags, and cake. Lots and lots of cake. Which meant lots and lots of sugar. This took the insanity, and the fart jokes, to a new level. I was counting minutes.....

The only way I can effectively describe the ceremonial unwrapping of the gifts is to have you imagine you're standing alone in a very small, enclosed space. You have 14 loaves of bread...and the room is filled with seagulls. RABID seagulls. It was a free-for-all and I was somehow stuck in the middle. They were like wild animals! I struggled to make notes of who brought what while the kids ravaged the gifts leaving a trail of destruction behind them. I made the effort to clean up as much as possible because at that point I just felt sorry for those poor museum employees.

All in all, we managed to survive. Although it was touch and go for a few moments. I have Richard, my Dad, his wife Patty, and her daughter Katie to thank for stepping in as chaperones and helping me keep 9 insane, rabid seagull-like 9/10 year old boys in check for two whole hours.

Looks more like the loser wall from the dance scene in Sixteen Candles

I still can't believe we weren't asked to leave...and to kindly never return.

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