Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The stuff my kids learn from 5th graders

My kids are fairly impressionable. Blame it on their premature births and slightly delayed maturity, but they tend to be sheep on occasion and follow the herd. Most kids do anyway.

Well from time to time when I have to torture the kids and make them take showers (the horror), the bathroom mirror gets nice and foggy, and what kid can resist a nice, fogged-up mirror to scribble all over? After seeing what they do to my car windows, I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often.

It wasn't so much that there was writing on the mirror this time, it's what was written that really caught my attention....two days after it was written there.

After my own foggy-mirror shower I noticed all sorts of scribbling and it took a moment, but I realized it wasn't just scribbling, there were words. The first sentence was some sort of whimsical reference to the Twelve Days of Christmas written out all cursive-y and sing-song-y.
Found directly underneath was the following, exactly how it was written:

"F**K YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  (we have a big mirror)

Thought #1- I'm pretty sure I know who did this
Thought #2- At least he censored himself
Thought #3- I'll break this kid and get him to confess, mafia style

Shortly after my F**K YOU mirror discovery, I left to go grab the boys from school. Once they were locked securely in the car, with no option for escape, I gave the old "you have ONE CHANCE to cough up who did it" speech. Of course the threat of all electronics disappearing forever and ever was incentive, yet both pointed fingers at each other and a stand-off was established. Not unusual.

The benefit of being mom to these two is I've learned to tell when either of them is lying...and the perp this time was Alexander. Of course he wasn't givin' himself up quite yet. Poor Clifford had to beg, plead, threaten him for an hour before he finnnallly cracked. shame.

Me: Where did you learn that?
Alexander: From the 5th graders. They say it all the time.
Me: Charming kids

Some may find it appalling that a 10 year old would use such bad language. I found it a little humorous but made sure I let him know that it was not at all acceptable and won't be tolerated. Somewhat similar to the response I had when, in Kindergarten, Clifford took it upon himself to call his day care teacher a "stupid mother f**ker". And no, he didn't censor himself. Thanks, older kids. I'm glad you're there to teach my kids proper language skills.

At least he used it correctly in a sentence.

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