Friday, February 24, 2012

Caterpillars should be dry-cleaned

I've been told, in no uncertain terms, that I need to get going on the blog posts, so here's yet another installment in the Flashback Series.....there are so many....

Time: 2007-ish
Place: Virginia
Kids: Kindergarten
Challenge: Not being completely grossed out

For some reason, every Spring, the boys seem to find themselves in insane caterpillar catching mode. It drives me nuts. No matter how many times I tell them that caterpillars cannot be kept as pets, they still come home with the damn things. Some of them named. And these aren't the pretty butterfly caterpillars, these are the nasty silkworms that destroy your trees. But the kids don't care, they keep coming home with them. So every year we have named caterpillars living on the porch.

Now that they're a bit older they tend to listen to me when I tell them they absolutely CANNOT bring those things into my house. But it wasn't always this way....

This all started when the boys were in kindergarten. I would go to pick them up from daycare after work and find them lying on the playground surrounded by fuzzy caterpillars, and they would scream when I insisted they leave them there so we could go home. The daycare staff would just shrug their shoulders and offer to give the kids little plastic cups so they could take them home. NO THANKS. It appeared all the kids were fascinated with these inconvenient creepy crawlies.

So as the Spring wore on, and I was in my usual busy-as-hell mode, I found myself leaving all the laundry for the weekend. HUGE mistake.

Nothing says vomit like pulling all the wet laundry from the washing machine only to have 3 or 4 very clean caterpillars come flying out and land in the detergent dispenser. Those two little shits had been stuffing them in their pockets because I refused to let them bring any home.

What followed was a series of screeches and unintelligible rants about how the kids never listen to me and that they will never ever ever touch those gross caterpillars again and they will CERTAINLY not be bringing them into the house via little tiny pockets!

Caterpillars shrink when they get wet, by the way. It's super gross.

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