Friday, April 13, 2012

Child labor is the only way to go

Things belonging to you that your child should never get their filthy little mitts on:

- The car
- Your work blackberry
- Nail polish remover
- Superglue
- And lastly, but probably most importantly, your Apple ID

A little background....since the kids' birthday is a mere 3 days before Christmas, every year they go nutty and are smothered in gifts from family and friends, guaranteeing I have the most ill-behaved children in the neighborhood for the 3 months preceding AND following the holidays.

This past year, I asked everyone interested in giving a them either a birthday or Christmas gift to please give a gift card. That way the kids could pool their money and get whatever they wanted and I wouldn't have a basement full of toys that are played with for 3 days and live out their days shoved in a corner only to be donated later on.

And, God help me, they had enough to buy themselves each a shiny, new iPod Touch.

I would like to first thank Steve Jobs (RIP) for at least making parental controls a real thing on these iPods. I can easily block out all the stuff they love like YouTube, iTunes, The App Store, and Safari. So what's left are all the ridiculous games that they could afford with their iTune gift cards.

Fast forward to our Spring Break trip to Utah to visit my Mom. Just before we left, Richard so kindly bought each of the kids $15 iTunes gift cards so they could dial into my Mom's WiFi and spent every dollar the minute we walked through the door. I kept mental track of the dollars they were spending because they would have to come to me to enter my Apple ID, and they have been very good about this little process for months now.

Until this particular week.

After I reached a mental tab of $30 I cut them off and said "you have all the games you can afford, no more downloads". Fine? Fine.

Fine.

Once we all got home from our vacation and got back to normal, the iTunes receipts started to come into my email one by one. As most know, there is a few days delay on those receipts.
Noticing there were several, I started to open them. All of them checked out and added up to the $30 in gift cards, except for the very latest one.
That one included THIRTY ONE in-app purchases totalling $40.00.
"Hey kids! just buy this extra plane in the game for .99 and get to the next level!"

CLIFFORRRRRRRRDDDDDD!!!!!!!!

Turns out the little rat had me put my Apple ID in to buy a game that I agreed to let him purchase, and then proceeded to figure out that it wouldn't be required again as long as he made another purchase within a certain period of time.

WHAT THE HELL

Alexander was really quick to throw Clifford under the bus and proclaim his own innocence, which Clifford did not challenge, so the jig was up. And now I'm out $40.

Easter money from relatives? MINE

And to work off the remaining balance, Clifford will be serving his time as a gardener this weekend helping me spruce up the patio. Get ready to spread some mulch, little man!

No more apps. Sorry Steve Jobs (RIP) but I can no longer afford to be solely responsible for raising Apple's stock price. You understand.

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