Monday, June 11, 2012

I can blame others for my 'Office Space' moment

For those of you who have seen 'Office Space' you will likely recall, with great detail, the scene where they all go out to the middle of a field, having stolen the office printer that never seemed to work, and they beat the crap out of it with a bat. Everyone needs to type of stress relief....especially me.

This almost happened today

Lately I've needed to print several things on my home printer. Things such as baseball and concert tickets, and paperwork required for our new home since we are now things of relatively high importance (at least to me, the kids don't care).

The printer, the poor, abused printer, has been sitting in the bottom section of a crappy computer desk and has been used primarily as a foot rest for the kids when they use the computer. Totally my fault, I know, but I never found a good place for it and it was never used all that often.

Until recently. And only when I need to print important things, does it decide to crap out on me.

For days I've been trying to hand feed paper into that thing only to have it spit it out, get stuck in the middle of printing, or just do nothing at all. I have had words with this thing on several occasions and I'm fairly certain I'm going to die a whole year early from the stress.

Fast forward to today, when I'm once again cursing at the printer because it wasn't cooperating. All of a sudden, an entire piece of paper gets stuck in the middle of this thing and that was it. It wasn't budging. It was the kind of paper jam that you can't grab from either end so you end up wanting to throw it off the roof in the hopes of getting a shot at removing it.

By some stroke of luck, I managed to pull open the cover to see the very edge of this rotten piece of printer paper and I started pulling.....and I ended up pulling out all the little tiny pieces of an entire cracker. A CRACKER.

%$&@!!! KIDS!!!!!

Not only was it being used as a footrest, but it was also a catch-all for every crumb from every cracker/cookie/Cheerio/Cheez-It that had been consumed without permission in front of that computer.

The upside...I got the damn thing to work after exercising my sweet sweet Dust Busting skills.

In the end, the house paperwork was submitted as planned and I didn't end up throwing that crappy printer with crackers in it across the front yard.

I can't wait until we pack that thing up and out falls an entire cheeseburger.

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