Monday, August 27, 2012

They're coming back

It's been 9 weeks, but the kids are finally coming back. After a summer filled with fun and sun, skateboard parks and pools, and a very unfortunate encounter between Clifford's face and a diving board (he still has all his teeth)...they're coming back.

They would much rather extend their summer of good times indefinitely, but alas school starts in a week and they have to go. Against their will, of course.

I can't believe I will have 5th graders. They will be at the top of the elementary school food chain this year so let's hope they don't let all that status go to their shrimpy little noggins. There's no room in the new house for all that.

Speaking of the new house, it's almost ready for them. In a brief Skype conversation with the two of them last week, Clifford made the grand announcement that he wants the smaller of the two rooms available for himself because it sounded "cozy". Alexander was perfectly fine claiming the bigger room.

Furniture was finally assembled yesterday and Richard and I decided to make a loft out of Clifford's bed to make the room feel more special. I expect a little man cave will materialize in there somewhere. Hopefully the loft stays aloft.

In Alexander's room, he has the good fortune of having the giant leather chair and ottoman that wouldn't fit nicely in the living room. I'm certain that will be a subject of great debate once those two realize what they're each getting.

Let the royal rumble commence.

All in all it was a very nice, yet lightning fast summer. But back to reality we all go. Back to 6AM wake up calls and crabby kids. Back to lunch bags with smashed applesauce in the bottoms that I love to clean out. Back to tantrums about math homework....I imagine my posts will grow increasingly frequent and be filled with recounts of 10 year old shenanigans so stay tuned.

...a storm is coming.



Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I thought I was pretty smart

Apparently I'm just like all the other sheep who wander the aisles of Target thinking they're getting a great deal just by shopping at Target in the first place.

I have been proven wrong.

Today I came across this little nugget of info and I immediately wanted to go running back to the store to get the actual discount on every item I've ever purchased at Target...ever. Of course that will never happen and it was really just a very brief feeling that I had somehow been ripped off.

A little history....I suck at clipping coupons, I see something marked down and convince myself that there's NO WAY I'll ever get a better deal so I just buy the damn thing right then and there, convenience is the one thing that drives my purchasing habits. Sad but true.

I watch those extreme couponing ladies and besides thinking they look like complete nutbags for stockpiling their garages with 42 bottles of root beer that they got for 59 cents (like anyone needs that) I just don't have the patience to behave in that constantly coupon clipping way.

I know it could save me money, but the few times I've attempted to use coupons, one notable moment was at Target, the chick forgot to ring them in and couldn't figure out how to "un-ring" me to then credit me for my coups. The line was building, people were staring.

TOO MUCH HASSLE.

So alas I roll the dice and hope the discount price listed on the little label is a fair one.

But according to the article I found, I now have a secret weapon...I'll just ignore the fact that everyone else who read it knows too.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

It's a work in progress, it may never be finished

Ugh..this house.

Since we've moved into the new house, there's crap everywhere. I can't find anything and the kitchen is hardly recognizable. We're still using plastic cutlery just so we don't have to run the dishwasher. And we still don't have plates because I donated the old dishes and haven't had a chance to pick out new ones. It's sad, really.

I don't even really know if everything made it over from the old house. I packed everything, I saw the movers move it all into the house, the old house was completely empty.
But just as socks are consumed by the dryer, things have disappeared. They might be in the house, but there's no guarantee. Parallel universe...likely explanation.

The kids are coming back in a couple weeks so this is my last chance to get my act together and get all those boxes unpacked and find new homes for all the things that need new homes (read: new closets). I don't know how I managed to donate TONS of stuff and throw even more stuff away and I still have crap everywhere.

It multiplied in the dark....like Gremlins.

Speaking of Gremlins, I had better get the kids' furniture together this weekend or there's a good chance they'll come home and be asked to sleep on the floor.

Could be good for them, but I'll do my best to avoid it.

Urban camping? Maybe. As long as they don't set the house on fire trying to make s'mores.

Sadly that's a real possibility.


Saturday, August 11, 2012

Sunshine, cocktails, and Mexican bacteria

I think the parasites saw him coming. Poor Richard, all barfy from the mystery cultures that managed to hunt him down while in Cabo.

All in all it was a great trip. Hurricane Ernesto be damned. Cabo turned out to be a fine alternative to cancun, just not for those with delicate systems.

I've travelled internationally several times and Richard has not, therefore I'm convinced that my jaunt through the streets of India several years ago gave me a nice dose of antibodies...so I didn't even blink on this trip to Mexico.

We ate the same food, drank the same booze, I felt like a million bucks, and Richard threw up for 2 days. I wasn't exactly planning to spend some of this vacation playing nurse to the otherwise parasitically susceptible.

So while Richard was confined to the room watching The Vampire Diaries in Spanish and inhaling Pepto, I went down to the pool to drench my iron clad immune system in a mojito.

Yum.

He got over it. And as we sit here in the airport in San Jose Del Cabo, he's decided to play russian roulette with his digestive system by coming back from the snack shop with a can of orange Fanta.

He just can help himself.

Maybe the Fanta will kill off the buggies.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

We can't be friends anymore

Dearest Ernesto,
I'm writing to let you know we can no longer be friends. You show up unannounced at a really bad time and make everyone upset and you want us all to just be okay with it. We're breaking up and that's that.

What does it really take to fit a decent vacation in to two otherwise insanely busy schedules?

I'll tell ya, it takes 4 weddings, a household move, many late nights at work, an adolescent hurricane, several F bombs, high speed Internet access, and a few Xanax.

All I wanted was to take a vacation this summer. The kids are in Utah and after devoting all of my time to other people for the past 2 months, I thought the trip Richard and I planned to sunny Cancun would be the perfect way wrap it all up before they come back to yell at me about how dumb homework is.

I was an idiot to think it would all go off without a hitch.

The weddings are done, the move didn't kill us, so all that was left was vacation time. Woo hoo!

Yesterday morning we woke up and turned on the news, as usual, and were greeted by the one jerk who would threaten to destroy that perfect end to the summer....Ernesto.

Although Ernesto was technically a tropical storm, he had great designs to grow up to be a nasty, alcoholic, abusive hurricane and he planned to bust through the Cancun door smack dab in the middle of our glorious vacation.

I just want to sit in a chair and have a little man bring me a really big drink! Apparently that's too much to ask.

The news of Ernesto's impending destruction of our perfect vacation was enough to set off a shitstorm that would take the entire day to sort out. And we were supposed to leave the next morning.

After a few texts from Richard pleading his case to just cancel the whole damn thing, I came unglued.

NO we will not just cancel! We will go somewhere else! There was no way I was not getting my glorious vacation and instead just sitting at home while he worked and worked and worked.

Nope. F bombs.

Finally getting my way and making it very clear that I would not be staying home, Richard cracked and agreed to go somewhere else. (damn right).

Thank God for travel insurance. What a great invention. We got 100% of our trip money back and vouchers for future flights and promptly booked a brand new trip to the part of Mexico Ernesto hadn't planned to punch in the face. And all this came together less than 12 hours prior to departure. I hope we don't end up in Mexican gang territory by mistake.

Today, after all that nonsense, we're on our way to the dry side of Mexico so I can sit in my chair with my big drink. And Richard is finally not thinking about work every 3 minutes (Xanax).

So take that, Ernesto. You lose.

And I will now be a premium travel insurance package customer for life.