Saturday, August 4, 2012

We can't be friends anymore

Dearest Ernesto,
I'm writing to let you know we can no longer be friends. You show up unannounced at a really bad time and make everyone upset and you want us all to just be okay with it. We're breaking up and that's that.

What does it really take to fit a decent vacation in to two otherwise insanely busy schedules?

I'll tell ya, it takes 4 weddings, a household move, many late nights at work, an adolescent hurricane, several F bombs, high speed Internet access, and a few Xanax.

All I wanted was to take a vacation this summer. The kids are in Utah and after devoting all of my time to other people for the past 2 months, I thought the trip Richard and I planned to sunny Cancun would be the perfect way wrap it all up before they come back to yell at me about how dumb homework is.

I was an idiot to think it would all go off without a hitch.

The weddings are done, the move didn't kill us, so all that was left was vacation time. Woo hoo!

Yesterday morning we woke up and turned on the news, as usual, and were greeted by the one jerk who would threaten to destroy that perfect end to the summer....Ernesto.

Although Ernesto was technically a tropical storm, he had great designs to grow up to be a nasty, alcoholic, abusive hurricane and he planned to bust through the Cancun door smack dab in the middle of our glorious vacation.

I just want to sit in a chair and have a little man bring me a really big drink! Apparently that's too much to ask.

The news of Ernesto's impending destruction of our perfect vacation was enough to set off a shitstorm that would take the entire day to sort out. And we were supposed to leave the next morning.

After a few texts from Richard pleading his case to just cancel the whole damn thing, I came unglued.

NO we will not just cancel! We will go somewhere else! There was no way I was not getting my glorious vacation and instead just sitting at home while he worked and worked and worked.

Nope. F bombs.

Finally getting my way and making it very clear that I would not be staying home, Richard cracked and agreed to go somewhere else. (damn right).

Thank God for travel insurance. What a great invention. We got 100% of our trip money back and vouchers for future flights and promptly booked a brand new trip to the part of Mexico Ernesto hadn't planned to punch in the face. And all this came together less than 12 hours prior to departure. I hope we don't end up in Mexican gang territory by mistake.

Today, after all that nonsense, we're on our way to the dry side of Mexico so I can sit in my chair with my big drink. And Richard is finally not thinking about work every 3 minutes (Xanax).

So take that, Ernesto. You lose.

And I will now be a premium travel insurance package customer for life.

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