Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I'm a genius inventor now

Is it weird that I think the only thing that's missing from my shower is a shelf to hold a glass of wine? I don't think so either. I'm inventing this...patent pending, y'all!

I decided to start running again. Not from the cops, but for exercise. Obviously to get back into shape, but also so I can run from the kids and actually get away. Those little turds are quick.

So today when I finally struggled through another run, I was naturally a sweaty mess and needed a shower afterward, and since I now work out in the evenings my shower landed about 30 minutes before the boys were supposed to go to bed.

There I am, enjoying my blazing hot shower, reveling in basically the only time and silence I truly get to myself throughout the day and I hear *knock knock knock Mom? Knock knock knock Mom? knock knock knock MOMMM???*

Just like Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory, only more annoying.

"Oh my God, WHATTT????? I'm in the showerrrr!"

"Ummm when you get out of the shower, can you tuck me in?"

"Yes, Alexander" and I know it's Alexander although I can barely hear the kid, because he's my momma's boy. Clifford could give a shit.

You know, when your kids are infants you manage to squeeze in a shower every 3 days when they finally go to sleep. When they're toddlers you decide to just skip showering all together because there's too much of a chance the kid could flush himself (or his brother) down the toilet while you're in there.

Never did I know that they would be almost 11 years old and I would be hearing *knock knock knock Mom? Knock Knock Knock Mom? I don't feel welllll....

"Ugh...go lie down!"

Internal dialogue: I have a glass of wine on my bedside table, I wonder if I should ask Alexander to just hand it to me while I'm in the shower. He definitely would.....nah, Dr. Phil wouldn't approve of such parenting. Never mind.

"Go to bed, Alexander, I'll tuck you in, I promise."

End of glorious shower.

Tomorrow night I'm taking that glass of wine in there with me.

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