Friday, November 16, 2012

And just like's gone

Snarky kids get things taken away. I keep telling mine if they don't stop running their mouths and being generally nasty toward each other and everyone in the house I'll start to take the really big stuff away.

Lately it's been a week of TV here, no iPods for a month there, writing "I will not yell at my mom" 100 times, none of it seems to have real impact. They just holler louder and I just drink more wine.

Enter the end-of-soccer-season party at Johnny Rockets.

This party was one of those where the other parents on the team thought that having the party the same day and time that soccer practice was originally scheduled would be a fabulous idea. Unfortunately it was from 5-6 on a Wednesday requiring me to leave work early to grab the kids and get them to this thing, so not very convenient, but still doable. AND to pile it all on, the kids had a "come see all the crap I've been working on in school" night later that same evening. Ugh.

I'm pretty sure all this impending excitement was the reason for Clifford's well-timed meltdown that morning. Alexander had the same meltdown just a day earlier so there was either a full moon, or the kids were just being little turds. I leaned toward assuming it was latter.

So the morning of the party as we were all attempting to get ready for school and work, as if that isn't difficult enough, Clifford decided to open his mouth. From the moment he cracked an eye he was in a crappy mood and made everyone aware.

I couldn't even tell you what the actual problem was, aside from a case of "pain in the ass kid" but after the 47th nasty comment came flying out I blurted "HEY! You know that all I have to do is stay at work today instead of leaving early and taking you to the soccer party."

You would have though that just the idea of the party disappearing would have made the kids shut it, but no.

He kept on and I made the grand announcement that there would indeed be no party. So there.

Clearly they don't believe a word I say, let alone believe I would ever follow through with such a threat....that is until I didn't pick them up.

At about 5:15 the calls started to come in, which of course I let go to voicemail. Sad and very pitiful little voice messages from Clifford asking me if I was "still planning to pick him up".

Nope. Not til 6:00 little man.

I finally got over to the school which was already packed full of other parents prepared to wander the halls looking at all the crap their kids were doing in school, and down the hallway I see Alexander. All puffy-faced and red-eyed with a look of shock that I could actually NOT pick them up for the party.

After explaining that there was no party because behavior was bad and that his behavior actually WAS crappy the day before and no, everything doesn't reset the next day, I spy Clifford....angrily kicking his lunchbox down the hall.

"Told ya I would follow through. Next time maybe you'll listen to me when I tell you to knock it off."

 I also made it clear that if they melted down over this then I would also take away the arts thing so they had better watch their butts.

I think they finally got it. Maybe.

Until the next time when they decide that no punishment in the world could deter them from beating the crap out of each other in the living room.


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