Monday, January 28, 2013

Beware the four-wheeled dragon

Although it seems we JUST wrapped up the holidays, January's arrival meant that it was time once again for our sometimes annual trip to Florida to bounce from theme park to theme park with the kids and Richard's parents, without whom none of this fun family time would be possible (shout out Rich and Cathy!)

Welcome to Disney world! Where you can spot the absolute best (read: worst) fashion faux pas, and if you're not careful you'll get run down by someone on a motorized scooter.

Which begs the question...why the hell would you go to Disney if you can't (or won't) walk?

And look at this guy...


Huh?

I give him props for taking it to the next level with that Donald Duck hat, but if you're THAT injured (as evidence by the contraption screwed into his leg) whyyyyy?  2 minutes after I took this picture he scooted off into the sunset.

I guess if you've already spent time and money planning such a trip with your family, and then you get injured, it makes sense. What I truly don't understand is the clientele that is not very mobile on a day to day basis and thought it was a fantastic idea to go to a theme park, where walking and walking....and walking..... is the way.

Okay fine, I'll back down from that and focus on those certain individuals who, once perched atop their rented scooters, feel the need to run all of us walkers down. I came close to losing an ankle when a woman on a rascal practically mowed me down while in line for one of the attractions. I was just standing there minding my own, fielding complaints from my impatient children....she even beeped.

Next up on the Disney trip recap....inappropriate outfits make theme parks a people-watching mecca.


Wednesday, January 9, 2013

The hiatus is officially kaput

Back to reality. Sort of.

I slipped into a holiday coma involving bloody marys and way too much food. It was delightful.

We all managed to survive the holidays. I didn't try to kill the kids, and everyone had a wonderful time out in Ohio visiting Richard's parents. And although they are amazingly great hosts, they fed me too much.

I guess I have to go to the gym.

You know who didn't survive the holidays?? The mouse!

Upon returning from Ohio we discovered that the little guy bought it big time, but not before he managed to eat the peanut butter from TWO of the traps without setting them off. What?? Licked them clean. There were little teeth marks in a 3rd trap and it was the forth that did him in.

Victory.

And now on to current events that I promise don't involve death in any way.....

What is it about a slight increase in the temperature of an otherwise healthy adult (me) that makes it feel like your skin is peeling off???

And as a side note, I would personally like to send a shout-out to all the people who came into work when they had the flu, or bronchitis, or the plague, or whatever, because they were "too important" to stay home. For weeks I have been dodging those people and bathing in hand sanitizer, but to no avail.

12:45 AM two nights ago I woke up feeling like my skin was, in fact, peeling off.

Thanks a lot, flu shot. And thanks a lot, people who came to work sick. You suck.

I'm happy to report that the fevers didn't continue very long and I seem to be in the clear, but it got me thinking...why does it seem like kids can tolerate high fevers like they're nothing and I felt like I was 5 minutes from death?

My kids have had their fair share of sicknesses. A little pneumonia here, the flu there, and if they ever woke up with a fever it was always at least 101, and they would get pissed when they couldn't play outside.

Play outside?? I don't even want air to touch my skin when I have a fever let alone go run around in it.

One of life's great mysteries, never to be solved.

So lately I've been slipping Emergen-C into everyone's morning smoothies in the hopes we can all stay well, at least long enough to get through our trip to Florida next week.

THEN we can all get sick.